Narelle wrote:The reason I feel it's a bit one or the other for me is that the guy who would be my boss under that department is well known and respected throughout aquariums across the country and I have already very much impressed him. I have no doubt I would be immediately accepted into that department upon applying. And with as much clout as he has in the industry and as much as I have impressed him, if I were to try to move after working for him to another facility his name and recommendation would make a huge deal of difference. I think I could get by without a degree. Which would mean saving me a lot of debt, because people working for aquariums make pennies.
Major moment of pause here - I believe everything you say here, but I’d warn you that no matter how well-esteemed your boss is, you will only be able to ride his “coat-tails” so far, perhaps to your next job after this. But if you want to move on from there, you will be judged on your own success. Thereafter, with your gifts and intelligence you will do fine, but you will be limited to careers that don’t require degrees (and to be fair, there are probably a lot of these jobs, but I have no idea what they are, other than jobs you’ve mentioned).
Narelle wrote:I am a bit interested, in theory, in doing research, though I don't much know what that would be like beyond theory. I'm very interested in behavior and intelligence in fish (both bony and cartilaginous) and would very much love to delve further into that.
This is where going back to school could help. If you get into another scientist’s lab, you could earn some credit (at most schools in the form of “undergraduate research” or “senior thesis” or something like that) doing research under their supervision. For most students I’ve met, that experience is enough to tell them whether doing research for a living would hold their interest, or at the very least it would help them know if they want to go on for a Masters degree.
Narelle wrote:The guy I'll likely end up marrying is going into architecture and is halfway through his schooling. If I go the route where I skip the degree, his ability to get a job is going to take precedence over mine and we'll move to where ever that is. If there's an aquarium nearby, I'll work there, but if not I'll look for a job at a pet store. I do feel like I could be happy just working at a pet store and keeping my hobby at home (I'm already on the path to a fish room - I always joke that I'm turning the house into an aquarium), but I don't know if I want to limit myself to that.
If I do get a degree, it will mean us being apart longer (his school is in a different state - I hate to say that this is a factor, but the past three years apart have been hard enough, I would be tacking on considerably more). It would also mean that we would have to try to find a balance between our two career paths when deciding where to take jobs and move to. And eventually, one of us will have to step away from our work when it's time to have kids. I feel like I would still be happy with just my fish and kids at home if it was just an aquarium or a pet store I was leaving, but I don't know how easily I'd be able to step away from doing research I'm involved in. And I'd hate to keep pushing back the kid stage for work and get to that point where it's less likely we'd be able to have kids.
(Though it is possible my guy would be up for this - he's said he likes the idea of traveling and moving a lot, having grown up in the military, and also that he would enjoy being a stay at home dad. But I don't know if that will all still hold true when he's involved in a career he loves. We need to have a long, much more in depth discussion about all of this.)
This is what Racoll was talking about. There is no simple answer to this dilemma, so my advice here is going to sound very “mushy:” First, if you and your fiancé are religious, I STRONGLY encourage the two of you to PRAY about this. I’m coming at this from a Christian perspective, but I’d give you the same advice regardless of your religion - if your faith gives you guidance, allow it to shape your heart, and your fiancé’s heart too. Second, whether you work in an aquarium or at some other ichthyological job, then you and your husband will end up facing the dilemmas you mentioned - To what city should you locate for careers (not just school)? Whose job will take priority whenever you have a time conflict? What will you both do when a baby comes along? These will not be unique to working at an aquarium or research job, they are common for every family where both the husband and wife are employed with careers. Again, the answer for this lies with you and your fiancé. Speaking not as a professor but as a husband, I’d say that both of you should make your life decisions with each other’s happiness in mind, and with a mutually-shared goal of finding happiness first and helping each other achieve personal fulfillment, and placing both financial success and career “reputation” much lower on the list.
And as to the prospect of being apart while you’re in school, will he graduate first? If so, would he be open to finding a job in the vicinity of your school while you’re still in college?
Finally on this issue, let me say that I’ve known many couples where both partners were well educated, each was training for a specific “career” before they got married, and one of them gave up their dreams so the other could pursue their’s. While many a couple have gotten this to work, most couples I’ve known in this position come to a moment in time where this decision comes back to haunt them. If you ask me, you two should chart a life together where you both can live your dreams.
Narelle wrote:And of course, a degree would mean walking into a lot of debt. Which is a daunting prospect, especially if I end up not really using it and right back in an aquarium.
Indeed. I can’t give you much advice on this one, other than to point out a couple of “truths” about colleges and universities these days:
1) You are not just a student, you are a consumer - a person looking to buy a product (in this case, an education). With the growing popularity of tech schools and the rising cost of a college education, 4-year colleges and universities are under increasing pressure to stay financially competitive. And because of this, (go on to point #2)...
2) Public colleges (and universities, but I’m going to stop mentioning universities to save space) are A LOT cheaper than private ones, but private colleges know this and are usually much more liberal with financial aid packages. Also, once you enter the school, they REALLY want to keep you. Colleges are assessed for their effectiveness and quality, in part by their graduation rates - when students don’t finish their degrees, it reflects poorly on the college. Colleges know this, so they work with students to keep them enrolled, even if it means enhancing their financial aid package a year or more after they arrive at school (especially if their grades are excellent).
3) If you can get through the Bachelors degree, you may be able to enter a Masters program at no financial cost to you whatsoever. For example, at my school over 3/4ths of our Masters students work as teaching assistants (lab instructors) during their time in the Masters program. For that work, we pay for 100% of their tuition and give them a monthly stipend of over $1200 per months for the year (unfortunately, I don’t know the exact amount). Many colleges need teaching assistants, and if they do, they will have a similar deal available, although the stipend will vary significantly with the cost of living in their area of the country.
Narelle wrote:I want to end up doing something I love and I feel like I couldn't really even have a day where I don't feel like being at work if work meant interacting with aquatic life. I also feel like the more academic, research-oriented path would be very fulfilling. If given the opportunity, I would certainly love to get to travel to different areas and learn more about the native species there.
Indeed, “Doing something [you] love” is the goal to shoot for. I suspect that’s why you started this thread, why you asked your original question. Both paths may ultimately be able to fulfill you, although IMHO, I think that what you describe here (the part about travel and learning about native species) can just as easily be fulfilled without going the academic route. I suspect that many of the people on this website who “do fish stuff” for a living have traveled more than I have in my 23 year academic career.
Narelle wrote:And a big decision that I kind of need to make soon - I need to decide if I'm going to go ahead and get the AA out of the way before I get bumped off of my parents' insurance. (It would be extended were I in school taking so many credit hours and I'm currently seeing a LOT of doctors, some of which are planning to see me for a couple more years. But I don't want to take on that debt if I don't have to, and the whole system and concept behind AA degrees frustrates me greatly. I might have made it through school the first time if I could have skipped that part.)
No easy answer here either. Health insurance is a big deal. Of course with Obamacare, things are changing, so I can’t imagine how things will develop for you. But I do know this - If you’re experiencing a long term medical issue, you have got to keep your insurance, and being able to stay on your parents' insurance will be cheaper than having to buy your own. Most people your age don't have big medical issues and don't realize how messed up things can get until it's too late, until something happens and they have to go to a doctor. It sounds like you are mature beyond your years on this point.
Sorry, I think I switched into "lecture" mode there.
I wish you the best,
Eric