Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

[elianna]

A Little Respect
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."

The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years

Submitted by: Gary Reinhardt

[L number Banana]

What do you call the records you keep to track your Oto's health and spawning activity?

An Oto-biography.

[fischkringli]

Der Zebrawels sprach mit Bedacht:
Welse werden Nachts gemacht,
und schwamm mit Gegröhle
in die Ablaichhöhle

[elianna]

Fish and Chips
One day while driving home from his fishing trip in the pouring rain, a man got a flat tire outside of a monastery. A monk came out and invited the man inside to have dinner and to spend the night. The stranded motorist gladly accepted the monk's offer.

That evening the man had a wonderful dinner of fish and chips. He decided to compliment the chef.

Entering the kitchen, the man asked the cook, "Are you the fish friar?" "No," the chef replied, "I'm the chip monk."

Submitted by: Gary Reinhardt

[andywoolloo]

these are great!! I thought these were cute, hope they aren't on here already:

A fish swam into a wall and said, “Dam!”

why fishing is better then sex:

You can catch and release a fish, you don't have to lie, and promise to
still be friends after you let it go.

what kind of fish do you see after a rain storm?
rainbow trout

what kind of fish has nine lives?
catfish

[Shane]

My favorite fishing joke...

A man goes fishing, rain or shine, every Saturday for 30 years. One Saturday he awakes before dawn to see the worst storm outside that he has ever seen. He tries to hitch his boat to his truck but can't get the job done in the hurricane-like winds. Eventually he gives up, returns to the house, takes off his wet clothes and crawls back in bed.

He says to his wife, "The worst storm I have ever seen is blowing outside."

His wife replies, "Yes it is, can you believe that idiot is out there fishing!"

-Shane

[fischkringli]

A Cichlid, that is very sad every time: the Apistodrama

[Jools]

A Cichlid, that is very sad every time: the Apistodrama

Apistodrama catastrophoides?

Jools

[fischkringli]

or Apistodrama frightend red

[krazyGeoff]

I got sent this one at work......

[Richard B]

Ha ha - cool!

[L number Banana]

Batman pic...laughed so hard I busted something - thanks, I needed that.

[andywoolloo]

[fischkringli]

Could be Catwomen, too

[L number Banana]

Could be Catwomen, too

Darn! That would have been a lovely screen name! She had rather goth style clothing too. Bummer.

[fischkringli]

Here are some links to other funny pictures:

http://www.lachsalven.de/files/lachsalv ... aetzer.gif
http://www.af-matzenbach.de/images/witz2_579.jpg
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fi4V-jRcR64/R ... 5B1%5D.jpg
http://www.adrianbruce.com/stressbuster ... h_joke.jpg
http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/abr0122l.jpg
http://www.blifaloo.com/humor/fishwatched.jpg
http://www.klangart.ch/wordpress/wp-con ... shjoke.jpg
http://www.funnythreat.com/images_funny ... umor_2.jpg
http://www.fritzcartoons.com/wp-content ... -water.jpg
And this is a very dark one
http://www.jokechallenge.com/funny_pict ... uicide.jpg

[fischkringli]

Have you ever heard about Synodontis pepsicola?

[fischkringli]

or this one: http://home.versanet.de/~boeckers/surfenonline.jpg

[fischkringli]

new one:
-my aquarium is a wonderfull hobby, i can look into it for hours and it isn't boring for me!
-and what does your wife says to your hobby?
-nothing, she doesn't care about what I'm doing at my office.

[fischkringli]

nothing is betterr than a perfect life
one catfish is better than nothing

so: one catfish is better than a perfect life

[L number Banana]

Finally! Spam has made me laugh:

The first man married a woman from Houston, Texas . He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.


The second man married a woman from South Carolina. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.


The third man married a girl from CANADA . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he did not see anything, the second day he did not see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

(no offense meant to US ladies, I'm sure it would be the same if there was no death penalty in place )

[Shane]

Three buddies are out collecting.

The first says, "Man, I had to agree to paint the kitchen to get out this weekend."

The second says, "Ha! I had to agree to buy a new living room set."

The third says nothing. After a couple of minutes his friends ask him what he was forced to do to get out collecting for the weekend.

He replies, "I set my alarm for four am. As soon as it went off I shook my wife awake and said, "Should we make love now or should I go collecting with the guys?" She replied, "Wear sunblock."

-Shane

[Timberwolf]

My daughter loves sushi and wanted me to try the octopus, but I couldn't get it to let go of the plate.

[andywoolloo]

to all three!!!

[DJ-don]

My daughter loves sushi and wanted me to try the octopus, but I couldn't get it to let go of the plate.

in korea we ate fresh octapus which was just freshly cut raw and the tentacles where still moving!!
it tasted good but the suction cups got stuck to my tongue

and there is a fish joke in my signature

[Jools]

1) What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird’s leg and a hand?…Birdsthigh fish fingers

2) Two parrots sitting on a perch…the first one says to the other “can you smell fish?”

3) What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can’t refuse?…The Codfather

4) How do young fish get to school?…By octobus

[Sandee]

Frankly Scallop, I don't give a clam.

LOL


Sandee | http://sandeeland.com/fishcam
Sent from my iPhone!

[bekateen]

Okay, this isn't a "fish joke" per se, but it is mildly humorous, at least to my kids and me: Did you ever notice this? If you feed your bristlenoses a diet of wood and fresh sweet potato, you get the candy sprinkles used on Halloween donuts?
... Just a thought.

What my baby plecos actually pooped after eating wood and sweet potato

http://s3.amazonaws.com/foodspotting-ec ... mb_600.jpg

[catfishchaos]

Ok guys this is sardine to get ridiculous, your basically floundering for responses. I think the jokes were best up until the minnow of this thread


When it comes to puns Ill kick you all in the bass

[Jools]

Thanks for the koi remarks, but I think you're talking carp.

Jools
PS Cyprinid only punnery.